I woke up. Got dressed. In my good clothes.
I was going to church.
The previous day or so I had had a migraine. I had one pill left until Monday, so saved it for Sabbath before I went to church... to preach... on Communion Sabbath.
I went outside in the frost - it is not usually frosty here. I also don't usually have 2 flat tires on my car. I do usually have 1 flat tire on my car, but today must be an exception. The sort of day where things that don't normally happen... happen.
I pumped up the tires, and drove the 35 miles to church... to preach... to lead in communion.
The church folk were so nice. They prayed my head would not hurt and that the migraine would go away. The migraine was gone of course, otherwise I could not have possibly been there, even if the Queen of England had showed up! (Of course we believe the God of the universe showed up . . . but my emphasis on the Queen of England instead of God shall be left for another post).
I might not have had the migraine right then, but I had not really eaten in two days. Except for a bowl of lentils. (I like lentils, you should not feel sorry for me here - not yet).
We all sang. 3 quite long songs. Which was good as it helped me in sermon prep - what with not having a lot of time to do that with the migraine and all.
We all prayed. It was a special day as new leaders were taking new responsibilities, so we had a special prayer.
All was going quite well at this point.
I got up to preach.
As sermons go I quite liked this one, and appeared to be getting approval from the congregation that I was on the right track.
I concluded. And invited the pew sitters to exit for foot washing. This is not as unusual as it sounds if you've had communion in a Seventh-day Adventist church.
I went to where the men were washing feet, what with me being a man and all. There was an odd number of men, which does not work when you pair up to wash feet. So I excused myself saying I would get to participate next Sabbath at my other church. Only I was not feeling well on account of the day and half of migraine and having not eaten in a long time.
So I went to the restroom. The mens restroom. For I may not have eaten, but I had been drinking a lot, a lot of water. It's good for you you know.
Now ladies, you may not know this, but unlike when we pee at home and sit, with the seat down and all... in a public restroom, we generally stand. All was going well... I've done this before and I know what I'm doing.
It was at this point I thought I was going to faint. Generally speaking, the moment when you think you are going to faint is usually the time that you are actually fainting. For me... at church... on communion Sabbath, standing at the urinal, doing what you are supposed to do at urinals.
Praise God for 2 things at this point. First, that I seemed to "catch myself". Ok, I'm not sure I totally actually "fainted", or caught myself. I fell down in a very controlled, but in an involuntary sort of way (in a place I would not choose to fall down should that be a choice). I'm grateful for this as no one had to help me up in this predicament. The other thing I am praising God for is the fact there was no one there to pick me up.
There are more gory details that had me in quite a panic 5 mins before I was about to stand up in front of everyone. But I think these are best left to the imagination. Your imagination can't be too much worse.
So, this is the day I fainted at church. On Sabbath. Communion Sabbath.