Sometimes (usually) you don’t decide to really change until you hit that brick wall. And even then, the first couple times you hit that brick wall, you’ll spend more time and energy knocking through it, than it takes to actually create the positive change in your life.
But one day, you’ll come up to that wall again, and you’re just done fighting it this time. Then, in an act of surrender to God (or the universe if God is a stretch for you right now) you let be what is. And you make healthy choices instead of trying to impress and win the game.
It’s a tough spot to be in, because you probably never intended to be there. But the book of Revelation is constantly calling for the patience (endurance) of the saints. But victory is promised, a victory you are now on the path towards.
So, rise saint. You indeed are created for more than this. Let the Creator truly work with you. On His terms this time. But it’ll only be when you’re ready.